Zatera Ul

Today has had more than its share of things going wrong. On the other hand, I did find thrift store curtains for the kitchen, and I got myself some ice cream bars.

I just finished dealing with the stupid, stupid, stupid chandelier cover (the plate that covers the hole in the ceiling where the box is) in the dining room. That cover has been hanging askew by one screw for as long as it’s been there, probably. Finally today I hauled the convertible ladder in from the garage (a good-sized undertaking in itself, especially in trying to decipher the faded direction label to set it up as a stepladder) and got up to have a look. It turned out that there was a good reason for the cover to be that way: as far as I can tell, it’s almost physically impossible to properly attach it, with the hardware given. The idea is for two screws to hang down through a metal strip, and through the cover, and decorative brass nuts go on the ends of these screws. The nuts hold the cover on. Two more screws inside attach the metal strip to the wiring box. The problem, besides that one nut was missing, is that when you turn the nut, the hanging screw turns too, so it can’t tighten. There’s also nothing stopping the screws from being pushed up into the box when you’re trying to put the cover on over them, or the nuts on them. Conclusion: there may be some pieces missing, but even if there are, this thing was Designed Stupid.

After shutting out the power (to our computers upstairs, too, it turned out–poor circuit breaker labeling), I went through my screw tin (stocked from my dad’s big drawers of salvaged fasteners) and found some small nuts that would fit the screws. I put one on each screw; this kept them from getting pushed up into the box too far when I was putting the cover on. Also, I found another decorative brass nut that fit, although it didn’t match the other one. I made some attempts to adjust the new nuts so that the decorative nuts would be able to hold the cover tight to the ceiling, but gave up–they moved too much. I took a quick look at my Black & Decker Home Repair book–it helpfully told how to take this kind of cover off, but not how to put it back on. I ended up putting two more nuts on the outside of the cover, then the decorative nuts–I held the one while turning the other, and that worked better, although it looks a little strange. At least the cover is up where it should be.

Thanks a lot, Stupid Lighting Designer, for making a hot, cranky pregnant woman spend more than an hour up on a ladder just to put a cover on.