For the next thing I decided to cook in the annoying pan, I made an omelette. I figured, oh, this will stick for sure.
Well... it did not! Granted, I did float the omelette over a little butter on the bottom of the pan. I treated it like I was trying to make the omelette in a stainless steel pan. Put a little butter in, then pour the omelette into the puddle of butter. Easy.
And it worked for this pan too! Not a thing stuck, not even a little errant cheese sticking out of the omelette.
So then I reheated some frozen dumplings according to package directions (put a little oil in the pan, heat for 5 minutes.) I did that a couple of times. I baked some jalapeño cream cheese poppers in a 450 degree oven. Some of the poppers burst and the cheese came out and started bubbling and crisping up... and they just slid right off the pan. I can't get anything to stick!
I don't know what to do with this pan, other than just use it. It's ridiculous.
Score some points for the "Just use your cast iron pans and cook on them" crowd!
I don't know what I am going to do next. Maybe some tuna melts.